Hi there -
I published and then unpublished my last post.
Why?
Many reasons. It wasn’t controversial, it was personal.
But maybe it wasn’t personal enough.
I’m tired.
I wonder how much of the tired is from holding things in?
How much of the tired is from not asking the questions I want to ask?
Anything I think to write or say has to go through eleventy-million filters and questions and tension-creating checkpoints.
It’s like I have to do mental gymnastics in order to get through the world every day. Yes, I have some pretty solid beliefs on equality and rights and the environment, but now I have to come down firmly on the side where everyone else is, without asking questions or knowing all of the story - daily.
Sometimes multiple times a day.
I have to categorize and DECIDE and STAND when everyone else does, when my nature/my truth is to ask questions; to understand the wider, deeper story, and to learn what I can about all of it before I take action of any kind.
That’s me in integrity with myself: I take time. I ask questions. I wonder. I look through the lens of my heart. I try to see more than one side of the story. I try to look past my own bias and my own RIGHTness before I take a ‘side’. One of my strengths is seeing a much bigger picture, but there just hasn’t been time or permission for that lately.
If you had asked me what my political leanings were over the past few years, my answer would have been: equally disappointed in everyone.
I think that the monkeys are running the zoo. And the zoo next door. And the zoo across the street. In fact, I think the monkeys are running everything, everywhere, most of the time. And even though none of the monkeys even agree with each other, they are trying to tell us what to think and what to do, but there are still some of us who regularly wonder what the heck is actually happening right now?
But if we wonder out loud about it, people often put us into a - heaven help me - category.
We are so good at categories right now.
I think that’s where my own tired has come from: categories.
I am categorically tired.
Categories mean we can dismiss each other without asking questions. Categories mean we can do anything/say anything without really thinking about what happens after that.
There was a post on a camping discussion board. Someone took some eggs out of a lake, took a photo, and asked everyone on the board what they thought the eggs were.
It turned into the meanest, most sanctimonious free-for-all that page has ever been.
Over eggs. And a mistake.
I know that this is a small example, but I guarantee that everyone reading this has a strong opinion about the taking of eggs from a national park. Everyone. Just like everyone reading has opinions about any other example - tiny to global - that I might have chosen.
Can you see that it’s all the same? The eggs is an example, but what I am talking about is not really about the eggs. It’s about how our rightness can get in the way of how we treat each other when we don’t agree.
Where did we leave our kindness? When did we stop seeing each other as worthy of a bit of compassion, even when we fundamentally disagree?
You wonder why you are tired and overwhelmed? I think it’s because the world is a very tiring place to be.
There is a lot wrong with the world.
You don’t have to look away or turn away or be quiet or go against what you know is right. But if you are TIRED - like, to the bone tired - then it might be time for a little kindness.
Our nervous systems were not designed for this level of reactivity.
Turn off the news. Now. Believe me, you will know if something happens.
Wildly reduce your scrolling.
Start seeing people as humans again: Even the ones you disagree with.
Start each interaction with kindness.
And if you don’t agree with me - or anyone else whose words you read - please, think about your answer at least three times before you type anything.
We need each other right now.
We don’t have to agree.
We just need the humans to be running things again.
xo
I totally agree, our inability to disagree with respect is scary. Almost like people can't be around people who aren't on the same page as them. Cancelled. Deleted. Or "we just don't talk about those things because we disagree," I mean, what? Why is it so hard to have a discussion with someone who has differing views to your own?
Thank you for sharing from your heart ❤️. This is where we should all lead and speak from. I don’t want to withdraw from the world or conversation but I do want to surround myself in hope, true connections, honesty and love. I have found that reducing my news media and social media has helped me to navigate my own life with greater ease. Taking care of myself so that I can care for others has become my #1 priority. Thanks for all the support and inspiration to do this “work”. You’re the best. 😘🌸😊😉🙌🌼