I know it's not a popular opinion, but when I hear or read the phrase, 'What you focus on appears', I want to gnash my teeth and slap my own head. How on earth did we ever get sold that line? To be clear, I understand that there is an element of truth to it, but giving us that as an instruction is like giving us a GPS without showing us how to turn it on and then letting us belittle and shame and guilt ourselves because we got lost.
Trying to live your life using 'what I focus on appears' as a navigational tool is - in my opinion - dangerous. Why? Because we are human. We want things. We feel things. We need things. Our world tells us to want things. We have hormones and hamburgers and days with way too much sugar. We are affected by the amount of sleep we've had and how the other humans in our lives are feeling.
To tell us that everything we focus on appears just sets us up to feel bad about ourselves on a regular basis because we weren't able to just keep focusing on the good stuff when what we actually want to do is cry or rage or ask for help or admit that things aren't good.
Again, I admit that there is truth in there, because I do believe that we have great powers of manifestation within us and that our focus does do a lot of creating. But again, we are human. If it's true that what we focus on appears, then I should currently be residing in San Francisco in the '90s because I spent last night watching Charmed re-runs.
So can we please stop chasing the impossible dream of perfect focus?
I don't think it's our focus that has the power anyway. I think the power lies in our attention.
The more I move through this world, the more I understand that our attention is everything. EVERYTHING. Our attention is precious; just ask anyone trying to sell anything. Our attention is precious; just ask any small child looking up to a beloved adult. Our attention is precious; just ask the houseplants that only get watered when you remember. Our attention is precious; just ask the book that wants to be written or the language that wants to be learned or the dream that wants to become a reality.
Focus is passive and hard to maintain. Attention requires our action. When we turn our attention to something, we must participate in the moment. We can't phone it in or it isn't attention.
What we put our attention on thrives. When I was writing my book, on the days when I didn't pay attention to it, nothing got written. It's as simple as that. Just focusing on the finished book did nothing. Giving it my attention made it real. I had to do my part.
What you pay attention to tells you everything about what you think is important. Where are you putting yours? And if you think that you want something but you aren't paying any attention to it, pay attention to why. What do you want more than the thing you aren't doing?
What are you paying attention to?
I invite you to stop worrying about where that changeable, influenced, mythical focus lands. Think bigger. Allow all of the feelings. Feel them and learn from them, and then actively return your attention to what you want to thrive.
Your attention is your most sacred power.
Use it well.
With so much love,
Love that! There is a time to focus but it is not the answer to what we desire. Focus to me feels very masculine, very "rarrgh", very fleeting. Attention, on the other hand, feels softer, more spacious and gentler. Attention to me feels like I actually really do desire that thing that keeps bugging me.
Also, I love how you flipped it in the end. What aren't we giving our attention to? There's a reason for that too. Thank you!
This made me stop and rethink my own views/understanding of focus vs attention. Lots to contemplate and mull over in my own mind, wonderful post!