How are things in your world? What are you looking forward to?
I had a dream a few weeks ago. One of my oldest, closest friends died when we were in our 30s, and in this dream, she was alive. In fact, she had been alive the whole time, but had been in some sort of dream version of a witness protection program.
We spent the whole dream talking about that; catching up.
When I woke up, I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was, indeed, alive. I almost got up to call one of our mutual friends to tell her. But then, as soon as I shook that feeling, I had the clearest, sharpest feeling of disappointment. My only thought was: what a wasted opportunity.
Why?
Because I had spent all of those precious, precious moments with her talking about the past; listening to and telling stories about what was. I missed my chance to go deeper and to dream together with this precious, precious soul.
We do that, don’t we? We meet each other and we tell stories about how it’s been and where we’ve been and how we (still) feel about that. We perpetuate the state and the place and the feelings that we brought in with us. We share and chew on and massage what has been - re-solidifying the way we already feel.
What if, after a brief catch-up for context, or honest heart-felt conversation about the state of our hearts, we then told each other stories about what we are dreaming of? What would happen if we spent time talking about our dreams and what we desire and who we really are?
This isn’t about bypassing or ignoring the hard. There are PLENTY of places where we can talk about those things, and sometimes those are the appropriate and necessary conversations.
But what if, just sometimes, when it’s safe to do so, we consciously talked about the wonder?
Ever since that dream, when I talk to people now, I try to slip in a weird question. It’s usually some version of: What are you looking forward to?
So often, when I ask this, there is a momentary pause; a glitch if you will. Whoever I ask it of often has to stop, take a breath, and think for a moment. There aren’t any already written, easily-accessed anecdotes in the forward-looking file.
When I mentor people 1:1, I always ask them about what they want. And you know, they always look at me like I’m asking them to solve the mystery of the universe. We just aren’t used to dreaming real dreams anymore, and we rarely feel safe enough to say what it is we really want out loud.
We’ve come through a time of group trauma, and we are in a time of uncertainty and change. What if - just sometimes and with people we trust - we change the way that we talk about that? What if, instead of re-telling the same story of what was, we pause for a moment and talk together about what could be? What if we created safe space for the other heart-centred humans to wonder about what might be possible for them?
What if we became a circle of mutually supportive, forward-story-spinners rather than past-story-retellers? And what if we really listened to those stories and believed in the possibility of them coming true for each other?
What if THAT was normal?
What then?
So tell me - what are you looking forward to? Let me hold you in pure possibility.
With so much love,
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Thank you for your beautiful post. ♥ Oddly I dreamed about one of my best friends last night who died when we were in our forties. Your words made me think that it is sort of my responsibility now to look forward because she will never be able to. In my dream she told me I was magic and I woke up crying. So that's what I want and what I am looking forward to - being magic.
It's so, so important! Speak it into existence, be open about our desires and dreams, take that vulnerable step of saying it out loud and daring to hope. 🎇